How Kakashi got his Mangekyo
by Lil' DeiDei
Summary: Before the big reveal of Kakashi's Mangekyo's past, it was a confusing time for devoted fans. How did Kakashi get his Mangekyo? Did someone else die that we hadn't seen yet? Did our beloved hero, perhaps, kill for his Sharingan upgrade? Who would our protagonist possibly have left to sacrifice that he loves enough for it to work? Well... allow me to show you.
1. Chapter 1

A note to the reader: This was written prior to any explanations of Kakashi obtaining Mangekyo Sharingan. Yes, it took a looong time to get finished.

**Hit One: Former Student**

Kakashi waited for the right moment to strike. His former student was completely unaware, instead focusing ahead on the scroll on the table.

Kakashi didn't want to use his Chidori, because it made too much noise. He pulled a kunai from his weapons pouch and stalked forward.

The student didn't move. She never knew what was coming.

Kakashi was right behind her now; all it would need was one quick, clean swipe of the sharp blade across her neck, and then, he would have the Mangekyou Sharingan he needed to protect their teammate.

"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura said without turning. "What are you doing?"

Kakashi stopped. Caught. He was caught. What should he do? Kakashi burst into song. "We were both young when I first saw you... I close my eyes and the flashback starts... I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air."

Sakura stared at her former sensei incredulously. "Kakashi-sensei, _what are you singing_?"

Yamato walked up from behind a book shelf. "Is that a Taylor Swift song?" he asked, with a smile. "I quite like her music." He joined Kakashi in singing the ballad of Taylor Swift's sad love life.

"See the lights... see the party, the ball gowns..." they continued singing, ignoring Sakura's loud protests and threats. She covered her ears, but they just increased the volume.

They were at the chorus now. Sakura took quick action. She had heard this song before, and she knew how long it lasted. Jerking the kunai from Kakashi's hand, she was about to stab him with it, when he twisted her arm and stabbed her instead.

Sakura's eyes widened.

Yamato kept singing.

Kakashi stared regretfully at his pink-haired student, who was staring at the kunai plunged between her bones and into her heart with wide, shocked eyes.

"Kakashi, what have you done?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, but I must protect Naruto. I know you don't want to lose another teammate, so you should understand this. It is our only hope of keeping Naruto safe and getting Sasuke back."

"What is our only hope? Killing me?" she asked, too numb to even consider healing herself with her medical chakra.

Kakashi nodded. "Yes. My best hope of protecting Naruto is to get the Mangekyou Sharingan. In order to get that, someone close to me must die. You should be honored I chose you."

Sakura looked at her teacher disbelievingly. "This... this isn't a joke?"

"No. I'm sorry, Sakura. If it makes you feel any better, you weren't that bad of a ninja. A little useless initially, but much better near the end."

Sakura's last thoughts were, _That bastard! He called me useless! I am going to kill him! Shanna-_ the thought was cut off as she and her Inner died.

Yamato finished the song and looked around, only slightly surprised to see Kakashi supporting Sakura's weight, while clutching his left eye in pain.

"Why is there a kunai sticking out of Sakura?" Yamato asked.

"I had to kill her," Kakashi replied sadly.

"Oh."

"I needed the Mangekyou."

"Oh. Would you like to go spar?"

"Sure. I want to test this baby out."

The two left the library, placing Sakura's body carefully on a table, with a note explaining the circumstances.

I had to kill her. Got the Mangekyou. ^_^ I know you'll understand, Tsunade-sama.

MUCH LOVES, KAKASHI


	2. Chapter 2

A note to the reader: This was written prior to any explanations of Kakashi obtaining Mangekyo: SHARINGAN UPGRADE PEWPEWPEW! Yes, it took a long time to get finished.

**Hit Two: Traitor to the Leaf**

Kakashi knew he would get him. It would be easy enough. After all, he had come this far. There was not much left between Kakashi, and his ultimate goal.

In order to gain the Mangekyou Sharingan, the biggest chance he had of defeating the Akatsuki and Konoha's other enemies, Kakashi would need to kill someone close to him, someone he would regret seeing die.

And he knew just the person who would fit that qualification.

He watched the hideout with trained eyes, waiting for any sign of movement. Pakkun sat beside him, also watching and sniffing the air carefully. The ninken signaled to his summoner, and Kakashi nodded.

It was time to go in.

Kakashi crept forward, not wanting to body flicker to the door in case his chakra signal gave him away. He would only have a limited amount of time to complete his goal, and though he knew he was skilled enough to carry it off, he didn't want any minions sent to deal with him. That would only slow him down.

He walked down the hallway carefully, Pakkun leading the way.

They made it to the door of the room he needed in a relatively short amount of time, and Kakashi put his ear to the wood to listen to the sounds inside.

There was nothing. It almost felt like the room was empty, the silence was so great, but Pakkun's nose never lied. If Pakkun said this was the place, then this was the place.

Turning the handle slowly, Kakashi entered the room, seemingly unprepared but already with a few traps set up.

Cold red eyes regarded him from the bed.

Kakashi smiled, though the action could only be seen in his right eye.

"So, you came," the equally cold voice stated. "Where's the dobe?" Sasuke asked.

"Naruto is not here, Sasuke. He has no idea I came. I am here... on a special mission," Kakashi said.

Sasuke rose an eyebrow, though it was hard to tell in the dark. "It sounds like you are going to kill me," he said in calm, but arrogantly amused voice.

"Yes, I am," Kakashi answered, still smiling.

"Hmph, like I would let that happen," Sasuke said, sitting up.

"What makes you think you have a choice in the matter?" Kakashi asked lightly. He nodded at Pakkun, who dispelled himself with a cheery wave at both of them.

"What do you think I've been doing here?" Sasuke demanded, suddenly angry. "I'm not wasting my time staying weak like that blonde idiot! I am training to kill my brother! I've gotten stronger, faster—"

"Sure, sure," Kakashi said, waving his hand dismissively. "I'm sure you have, but I am still going to kill you. I need the Mangekyou."

Sasuke snorted. "Yeah, right. An idiot like you couldn't get the Mangekyou."

Kakashi finally stopped smiling and opened his eye. "Of course I can get the Mangekyou. I only have to kill someone close to me, and that person is you."

"Right. You have to be an _Uchiha_ to get the Mangekyou."

"Supposedly, you have to be an Uchiha to get the Sharingan at all," Kakashi pointed out reasonably.

Sasuke was about to reply, but Kakashi was suddenly standing next to him—no, over him. Sasuke reached for his sword, but it wasn't there. He looked up, and saw Kakashi inspecting the sharp blade in his hands.

Sasuke gulped. The blade he spent so much time polishing and refining was pointed at him, ready to kill. "You weren't kidding, huh?" he tried to ask in his normal smug tone.

"Tut, tut, Sasuke, you know me better than that. I never joke about my killings," Kakashi said, before cutting Sasuke's head off. "I hope Orochimaru can get that out at the dry cleaners," he commented of the blood on the sheets.

His eye felt strange, and he pulled his forehead protector up before going to the mirror and checking his eye. "Cool. It worked." He left the hideout with Sasuke's sword and made it back to the Hidden Leaf Village just minutes before Naruto and Jiraiya returned from their training trip.


	3. Chapter 3

A note to the reader: This was written prior to any explanations of Kakashi gettin' tha thangythang. Yes, it took a long time to get finished.

**Hit Three: The Wrong Student**

Kakashi knew what he needed to do. He knew what he needed to get. He knew what he needed to become.

He needed to protect Naruto.

He needed to get the Mangekyou.

He needed to become one of the monsters he had always hated; one of the people who killed their special person.

Kakashi wasn't stupid; he knew Jiraiya was a strong ninja who would be able to teach Naruto a lot, in both ninjutsu and life skills. But Kakashi also knew that he needed to help protect his sensei's son, even if the boy didn't need it. Even if Naruto came back stronger than him, Kakashi had to do his part.

So he would do the vile thing, and get the Mangekyou.

He had planned this day meticulously from the start. As soon as he heard Naruto was leaving the village, Kakashi knew he would have to get stronger as well. As with everything else Kakashi did, this plan was detailed, thorough, and had no pitfalls.

Regrettably, Kakashi would be able to gain the Mangekyou with ease.

He had already tracked down his target—calling the person a 'friend' or any other term that implied closeness would only make this more difficult. Although, Kakashi supposed that was kind of the purpose.

He shook his head to clear these thoughts away. Such speculations were useless. What must be done must be done.

He was outside the place where his target was. Pakkun and Biscuit had confirmed it two hours ago, and Kakashi had come immediately. Tsunade willingly gave him permission to complete this mission; she knew as well as he did what had to be done, and she was just as determined to ensure Naruto's safety as he was.

There were no lights on in the windows of the building, which was odd. The establishment was a hotel, so surely someone must have been awake to welcome guests? Unless this wasn't the right place, or his target knew and suspected him of coming here…

No. That was impossible. There was no way the target could already know of this. They weren't planning an ambush. Most hotels in this city were closed, having accepted their last guests at eight this evening. Sure, it was a strange coincidence not lost on Kakashi that all the guests happened to be sleeping at once on the night when he came to kill a certain man, but he wasn't going to speculate on it.

He had already decided speculations were useless.

He climbed up the wall, using his hands rather than his chakra, and peered cautiously into the room from the window. Good. It was just as he thought. The target was alone in the room; his guardian was probably out enjoying the local nightlife.

Slipping the window noiselessly open, Kakashi climbed through and walked to the figure sleeping deeply on the futon in the middle of the room.

He allowed himself one tear for what he was about to do, then he pulled out the vial Tsunade had given him, and poured the poison into the mouth of his target. This way, the boy could die in peace.

Kakashi did not want him to suffer—not as Kakashi was suffering, just thinking of doing this. Completing the task was so easy and so hard at the same time. If Kakashi were to talk to the target that lay on the futon swallowing the liquid, he was sure the boy would agree of the importance of his death, but that was not exactly a comforting thought.

From the hallway came the sounds of a drunken man climbing the stairs. Kakashi needed to leave soon. But he had to make sure this worked.

The door handle turned slowly, and Kakashi was hidden out of sight before the drunken man outside had even begun to push the door inwards. A light flicked on, but the boy on the mattress didn't groan or instinctively cover his eyes.

To the drunk man, it looked like his comrade was deep asleep.

To Kakashi, it looked like Tsunade's poison had worked. He was not relieved by this news.

His eyes were heating up oddly and as he reached a hand up to touch them, he realized in shock that he was bleeding. _The effects of the Mangekyou?_ he wondered.

The white-haired man seemed to notice there was something wrong with his charge, and he knelt down beside the boy and poked him. "Hey, wake up, brat," he said in a surprisingly clear voice for a drunk.

Well, it wasn't that surprising considering he was a ninja of very high caliber.

"Brat? Are you asleep?" the man asked.

Kakashi swallowed. _The boy... is blonde?_ he asked himself. He looked at the poison vial in his hand. The poison he had just poured down the boy's throat... had no antidote. It was a special mix created by Tsunade to be undetectable and irreversible.

Earlier, that had seemed like a good thing.

Currently, Kakashi was trying desperately to not have a heart attack. _Shit! I just killed..._

The old man checked the boy's pulse. "Crap, his heart isn't beating!" he said aloud.

_Oh my god..._

"He's not breathing... Who is in here? Who has _done this_?" the man asked, turning around in a rage, already retrieving kunai from his weapons pouch.

Kakashi couldn't hold it in any longer. He freaked out. "SHIT! He's dead! I killed NARUTO! I killed the wrong damn student!"

Jiraiya turned to him. "Kakashi, you did this?" he asked in surprise. "You-you killed Naruto?"

Kakashi nodded numbly. "I... I had to get the Mangekyou. It was supposed to protect him. And now he's dead. Oh my ramen kamis!" He curled himself into a ball for comfort. It wasn't working. "My foolproof plan! No! I killed the wrong person!"

"Who did you intend to kill?" Jiraiya asked menacingly.

"Sasuke! I heard he was here… Orochimaru had a beauty pageant…"

As Jiraiya puzzled over this, Kakashi sobbed himself asleep. He had the Mangekyou, but now what good was it?


	4. Chapter 4

A note to the reader: This written was prior obtaining explanations to Kakashi Sharingan any Mangekyo of.

Yes, it took a long time to get finished.

**Hit Four: Eternal Rival in the Springtime of Youth**

"Hi, Gai," Kakashi said to his friend and rival one morning.

"Hello, Kakashi! I see the Power of your Youth is shining bright and happily on this beautiful, sunny morning!" Gai replied youthfully.

"So, what will our competition be today?" Kakashi asked.

Gai gasped. "Kakashi! You are actually acknowledging our rivalry? How hip! How youthful! How positively cool and groo—" Gai's words were cut off by Kakashi's signature technique cutting into his heart. "Wh—what? Kakashi, what are you doing?" he rasped out, the words barely audible over the sound of One Thousand Birds Chirping, or Chidori, as Kakashi had named it.

Kakashi smiled sadly at his friend. "I'm sorry, Gai, but I need the highest level of Sharingan to protect Naruto and the Village. You're my only close person. And the Mangekyou requires sorrow to activate."

"But… Oh," Gai said. "Thank you—cough—for finally… acknowledging our—cough cough—rivalry, Kakashi," Gai said.

Kakashi nodded, looking sadly down at his friend.

Gai's eyes showed sorrow, and something else. "Ka—Kakashi… I have… so much to say…" Gai took in a deep breath, and closed his eyes solemnly. "I am glad… my life… will protect Konoha… And Naruto. He has—cough—the Fire of Youth deep within him."

Kakashi nodded. "I will remember that. I will protect him for you, Gai. But now you need to die so I can get my Mangekyou."

Gai reached his arms up to hug Kakashi, and Kakashi complied with a return hug. Gai took in his last breath, and then his Youthful Fire went out. Kakashi felt a few tears slide out of his right eye, and then his left eye suddenly burned, white hot and red. Kakashi clutched his eye in pain and then blacked out.


	5. Chapter 5

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the final and most fantastical installment of _How Kakashi got his Mangekyo_! Thanks for reading! Please review. =)

**Hit Five: The Hamster**

Kakashi wanted the Mangekyou. A great new movie was coming out next week, and he was told the experience was three times as thrilling if you had a dojutsu. Of course, Kakashi already had the Sharingan, and his was evolved to two levels, but, being Hatake Kakashi, this was not good enough. He needed the highest level of the sacred bloodline limit if he was going to get the full experience.

So someone had to die.

However, he didn't want to kill any of his friends just for a movie. He really wanted to watch the movie, but that didn't mean he was willing to kill one of his friends, students, or even ex-girl friends just for the Sharingan.

This left him in a bit of a quandary. How would he get the Mangekyou and still keep his special people alive?

The answer came to him from an unexpected place.

He was walking with Iruka, who he didn't know too well, but who he talked to every once in a while anyway because of Naruto. As the boy's mother, Iruka was obviously concerned about his son's safety with Jiraiya.

Kakashi assured the man Naruto would be perfectly safe. The Yondaime had survived him, after all—well, until he died.

"The Yondaime made an honorable sacrifice for the village, Jiraiya-sama didn't kill him," Iruka said, a little bit of questioning and panic behind the recitation.

Kakashi airily waved a hand. "Yes, that's true. Minato-sensei chose to die, but Jiraiya-san probably had something to do with it. It's his fault my teacher learned the art of sealing anyway," he said, not reassuring Iruka at all. "Anyway, where are we going? I have to meet Anko at the gates when she returns from her mission, or she just might kill me."

"I have to go to the pet store. My class has begged me to get a class pet."

"You shouldn't give in to them," Kakashi advised seriously. "The little brats... once they get what they want, there's nothing stopping them. Though, you could just sign a Summoning Contract, and show the kids that."

Iruka shook his head. "No, that wouldn't work. No summon is going to want to stick around for kid's to poke him or her; they don't have patience for that and it undervalues their abilities. Also, I want a permanent pet so my students can learn the art of caring for another being."

"Right," Kakashi said slowly, after giving the man a blank look. "But if you ever want help, just ask me or Anko. I'm sure Pakkun and the others would be willing to help keep the kids in line."

Iruka looked fearful for a second. "No, no!" he said hurriedly. "There's really no need to trouble you or Anko-san that way, and I certainly d-don't want to cause your summons any hassle!"

"Are you sure?" Kakashi asked. Then he shrugged. "Well, I suppose that is the better choice. Anko has a tendency to ask her snakes to try to kill everything within sight, and the snakes are more than willing to comply."

Iruka hurriedly walked into the pet store, almost as if he was trying to get away from Kakashi.

Kakashi followed after him, chuckling evilly. "So, what type of pet are you going to get?"

"I have no clue. I was thinking of getting a fish or a bird," Iruka said.

"Boring," Kakashi replied, wrinkling his nose. "You should get a dog."

"Dogs have to be walked and fed all the time. Also, I do not think my students have the ability to housetrain a pet."

"Isn't it 'academy training' the dogs? Anyway, _my_ dogs are self-sufficient."

"Because they're summons. Now, go play with the hamsters or something," Iruka said, waving Kakashi away.

Kakashi sniffed, then went to poke a few of the animals. "Ow, you bas-" He flung the hamster biting viciously on his finger into the wall of the cage. It made a loud slamming noise, then fell to the floor of the cage. Kakashi bent down to peer at it. "Crap, is it dead?" He turned away, and began whistling innocently. He walked over to the bird cages and wisely refrained from poking a parrot with head-feathers remarkably similar to Sasuke's hair.

The parrot soon grew boring when it proved to have around about the same speaking skills as Kakashi's former student, also. Perhaps this is where Sasuke used to hang out after training? There was no other way that parrot could have learned how to say "Hn" so well...

Iruka finally settled on three fish, and Kakashi had meanwhile poked four more hamsters, all of which attempted to bite him.

"I see you are interested in our hamsters," the salesman said.

Kakashi shrugged. "Meh. They're okay. Kind of hungry… What do you feed them?"

The man chuckled. "Hamster food, normally. But they like to nip on those who put their fingers in the cage."

Kakashi gulped. The store owner was on to him… _I may have to kill him. Chidori would be too obvious. Kunai to the jugular_, he decided quickly.

"Would you like to buy one?" the man asked, grinning.

Crap. Kakashi should have seen this coming. Poke a hamster, piss it off, and then you have to buy it so you don't get in trouble. Damn. "Sure," he said.

Iruka looked surprised. "Weren't you just telling me how cool your ninken are—"

Kakashi interrupted him. "Hamsters are the best," he said in what he hoped was a convincing tone. To his own ears, he sounded slightly fruity and more than a little constipated, but the salesman didn't seem to notice this, as he smiled broadly and told Kakashi the price of the hamster.

"ALL THAT FOR ONE LITTLE HAMSTER?!" Kakashi demanded. His wallet was emptier than any time he had purchased ramen for Naruto, and that was saying something.

Iruka was watching him oddly.

Kakashi sighed and paid for the damn hamster, which he took from the cage and stuffed in his weapons pouch, after carefully moving all the weapons to his jounin vest, of course.

"Are you sure you shouldn't buy a cage?" Iruka asked him, worriedly watching Kakashi's squirming weapons pouch.

"Eh, whatever," Kakashi said.

"How about this," the salesman said with a stupid smile. "I'll throw one in since you're_ such_ a good customer."

"Thanks." Kakashi grabbed a random cage and stuffed the hamster into that.

It eeped.

Iruka cradled his fish tank closer.

"Right, well, I should go meet Anko now. See you later, Iruka-san! Have fun with your brats! Don't forget my offer; if you ever need me or Anko to put those kids in line, just ask," Kakashi said seriously, before waving at the man and then disappearing in a swirl of leaves.

Iruka went back to the academy, glad he managed to escape having his fish traumatized for life before they even met his students.

Kakashi stared at the hamster through the cage walls. It appeared to be smirking at him, or at least, that's what Kakashi thought.

His ninja senses alerted him to danger, and he dodged to the right just as a kunai was thrown at the place where his head was not seconds before. "Anko!" he greeted his girlfriend happily.

"Kakashi," she greeted him back, smiling.

"How was your mission?" he said, shifting the cage aside to give Anko a kiss.

She looked at the cage and stopped just outside his reach. Damn. She _always_ did that. "What's that?"

"This?" He indicated the cage. "My new hamster."

"Why'd you get a hamster?" she asked. "Oh, Kakashi, that's so sweet! You brought me food to feed to my snake summons!" She reached out for the cage.

"No!" he cried, quickly jerking the cage out of her reach. "This is my hamster! Not pet food! Bad, Anko!"

"What the heck, Kakashi?" Anko said, staring at him.

"Um..." he tried to explain.

"You aren't going to replace me with that, are you?" she asked, looking at the cage.

"No," said he, after considering the idea briefly. She would kill him if he said 'yes', so 'no' was the only choice left.

"Good. What's its name?"

"It doesn't have a name."

"Can I name it?" she asked.

"Uh, sure... why do you want to name my hamster?"

She shrugged. "Better than letting some brat name it. And I know you couldn't think of anything, so I'll do the honors. How about... Furrball-chan?"

"It's a guy," he said, sweat-dropping.

"Oh. Right."

Kakashi waited for her to suggest the obvious 'Furrball-kun', but she didn't say anything for quite a while. He resisted the urge to yawn, knowing it would probably result in him losing an organ or two.

"Hmm... how about Bobby?"

"Bobby?" Kakashi repeated.

Anko nodded.

"Um, okay?" he said, agreeing with her before she killed him.

He realized this was a wise course of action when she smiled at him and put her kunai away. "Let's go get something to eat, Kakashi. I'm hungry."

"Okay," he agreed as she slung her arm around him. "Dango?"

"Nah, let's get ramen. I haven't seen that blonde brat in a while, and I wanna mentally scar him for fun."

Kakashi decided to ignore that. "I should probably drop... Bobby off at home first."

"No, take him wtih us. We can feed him some ramen."

"I don't think hamsters eat ramen," Kakashi said.

Anko looked surprised. "Why wouldn't they? Don't be stupid."

"Well, when I was in the store, the guy told me that hamsters eat hamster food and sometimes nibble on people's fingers."

"Isn't ramen hamster food?"

"I don't think so."

"Let's ask Teuchi."

"Okay," Kakashi agreed, shrugging.

When they arrived at the ramen stand, Anko remembered that Naruto was still training with Jiraiya and wouldn't be back for another month or so. "Damn. I have five new techniques to show him... oh well. I suppose they can wait."

"Yeah..."

"So, what can I get you two?" Teuchi asked, smiling.

"Miso pork ramen for me," Kakashi said.

"Hmm, I'll take something with beef in it," Anko said.

"Would you like something for your hamster?" Teuchi asked.

"Hah!" Anko shouted victoriously. "I _told_ you hamsters eat ramen!"

"Uh, I was actually thinking about giving him lettuce," Teuchi corrected, sweat drop forming on his forehead.

"Oh," Anko's face fell.

"What is the hamster for?" Teuchi asked as he passed a small plate of lettuce to Kakashi, who shoved the leaves unceremoniously through the bars of the cage. The hamster eyed him for a moment before walking over and cautiously sniffing the leaves.

"I don't think Bobby likes you," Anko said, snickering.

"Who cares? I'm going to kill him."

Teuchi dropped his ladle. "What?"

"The hamster is not for any little kid or something. I am going to kill him to get the Mangekyou."

"I see," Teuchi said, deciding to put this down as a 'ninja thing' and thus, something he did not, would not, could not, and probably should not, understand.

"Why?" Anko asked, looking at Bobby.

"I have a movie I wanna see. It's better with a dojutsu."

Anko nodded, totally getting the logic in this. The two ignored the slowly-backing-away Teuchi. "Hmm, I wonder if there are any Hyuugas I can kill to get my own dojutsu..."

Just then, Team Gai walked in. "Anko-san, Kakashi!" Gai shouted. "How youthful to see you like this!"

"Hi, Gai," they both replied without turning around.

Team Gai spread out on the remaining chairs, Gai sitting next to Kakashi, and Neji ending up next to Anko, with Lee on his other side, and Tenten next to Lee.

"Hi," Anko said to Neji, leaning over slightly to assess him.

"Hello," he said, eyeing her warily out of the corner of his eye.

"No, Anko. Bad!" Kakashi said.

"Ugh. Fine. Let me play with Bobby."

"Not while you're eating. It's unhygienic," Kakashi told her.

"And that is unyouthful!" Gai supplied.

Anko stuck her tongue out at him, then noticed out of the corner of her eye that Tenten was eyeing her... rather oddly. "Is there something up your nose, kid?"

"No. It's just... you're my hero!" Tenten said.

"Uh, what?" Anko said.

Kakashi paled. "No, Gai! What did you do to your student? Anko is not a role model. Never!" he said firmly.

Tenten looked disappointed, but recovered quickly. "You're only saying that because you're a man. But kunoichi are uncommon and we have to stick together! You're just jealous because Anko-sama is strong!" she cried passionately.

"Anko-sama... I like the sound of that," Anko muttered.

"And kunoichi are just as good as men! We are strong, we can kill, we can be leaders, like Tsunade-sama! Do not mock my heroes!" Tenten shouted, ending her speech by standing on her stool and shaking her fist angrily. She blew back her bangs and plopped back down into her chair, eating her ramen as if nothing had happened.

"Wow, Tenten! So youthful!" Lee said, giving her a thumbs up.

"Does your student have schizophrenia?" Kakashi asked Gai, who was smiling and looking rather proud.

"Of course not! Tenten just feels very passionately about the cause of the kunoichi. Her anger is righteous and very strong! This is why she respects that Temari girl; because she is a true kunoichi. No offense to your student, Kakashi my friend, but she only recently learned what being a kunoichi meant."

Kakashi shrugged. "Yeah, I didn't really have time to explain all that female stuff to her. I have places to brood and people to do. And books to read."

"I will ignore that rather perverted comment for the sake of being able to stomach my food," Gai said.

"Whatever," Kakashi said. His ramen was already finished, but Bobby was still eating his lettuce, and Anko had abandoned eating her own ramen in favor of staring creepily at the Hyuuga kid on Gai's team.

Oh. Hyuuga kid.

"Anko, I already said no," Kakashi said. "Buy yourself some dojutsu glasses or something. They give them out at the theatre anyway."

"But it's not the same!" Anko protested.

"It'll be fine," Kakashi assured her, purposefully turning her head back to her ramen bowl.

As he predicted, it worked. "Ooh, ramen!" she cheered, then promptly slurped up half the noodles in one gulp—without chopsticks.

He tried hard not to gag, and looked over to check on Bobby, making sure the hamster was at least still breathing. He would fight him like a man, in the training grounds and with no cages in sight, giving Bobby a fair fight. Kakashi wondered briefly if using his sharingan at all would be cheating or not, and concluded that Bobby was bought in a ninja village, so it was probably safe to assume he had picked up a few tricks himself. After all, he looked plump but old, meaning he'd found _some_ way to survive. Kakashi smiled happily to himself. The new _Icha Icha_ film was gonna be great!

"Why is Gai-sensei's rival giving that hamster the Creepy Eye?" Tenten whispered to Neji.

"I have learned not to question the actions of those from Team Seven," her teammate replied.

Tenten nodded. That was probably for the best, she realized as Kakashi leapt from his chair and grabbed the hamster cage." C'mon, Bobby! It's time… to battle!" he cried.

Anko whooped as she followed him out the door and to the training grounds, ostensibly so he could do glorious battle with a vermin.

The wind whipped through the air, lending a mighty feeling to the scene. The sun shone in the sky, beating down upon the combatants as the stench of their sweat filled the air. Their heavy breathing was the soundtrack to the battle. The trees roared their approval as the air was cut again by shuriken, slicing towards the creature darting towards the trees.

Kakashi cackled victoriously. "Hah, thinking you can get away, eh, Bobby? Foolish hamster! I shall stop ye, fiend!"

The hamster stopped in its tracks, looking back at Kakashi before sighing deeply, and returning to the circle of the battlefield. The kunai Kakashi had generously arrayed before him as his weapons were virtually useless for his little hamster hands, but he had to figure something out. This madman was going to kill him, all for a movie!

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. This was a bold move. Bobby was clearly ready to sacrifice everything for this. Kakashi took a deep breath and thought of all the motivating people in his life and the wondrous moments he had shared with them. He would not die for nothing!

"RAAAAH!" came his bellowed battle cry.

"EEEEP!" came the same from his brutal, tiny, enemy.

"Well, that was morbid," Anko said dryly, blinking a bit at the hamster guts now splattered everywhere. Somehow, Kakashi had obtained a serious injury to his knee, and was hopping on one foot, gleefully clutching his now bleeding eye.

"SUCK IT, BOBBY!" he crowed. "I got the Mangekyo—oh yeah, who's the best? Oh yeah, who's the boss?! Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah—ouch, my knee really hurts!"

A note from the author: A few hamsters were harmed in the making of this story, but don't worry, they multiply like rabbits.


End file.
